those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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