I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
