how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
