I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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