I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
