It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
