Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
