i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
