Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
