get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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