Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
