Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
