but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
