I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
