I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
