i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
