Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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