I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
