So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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