She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
