Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
