i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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