Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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