yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
should my penis look like a turkey
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
