Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
