STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
