come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
