This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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