So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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