I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
