How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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