So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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