I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
