she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
