You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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