u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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