sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
