hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
