My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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