I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
