Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
