if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
