If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
