Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
