Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
