I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
