Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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