An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
