How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
