Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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