Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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